ARTIST JOURNAL ( TSENG Chih-Wei )
In the online meeting this week, we continued the exploration of the keywords: Sexual Arousal, Body, Beauty and Sense of Security. “Sexual Arousal” can be triggered by different physical and mental needs. Nowadays there are numerous categories of “Sexual Fetishism / Erotic Fetishism”. By talking about “Transvestic Fetishism”, we went further through the discussion of body, clothing and gender.
Pain, dirt, humiliation or possession can trigger sexual arousal, “Gender Non-binary” can also do so. In the porn industry, Shemale（Male-to-Female）and FTM（Female-to-Male） are transgender with sex characteristics of both male and female. Pegging（A woman performs anal sex on a man）and Mpreg（Male Pregnancy）change sex characteristics with sex toys or special props. Transvestic Fetishism triggers sexual arousal by “Cross-Dressing”, for example: a man gets hard when he puts on a woman’s underwear. However, “Transvestic Disorder” is categorized as a paraphilic disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5).
There are many interesting things I would like to discover: Why would sexual arousal of human beings be connected with things against morals? Is the pleasure of crossing boundaries from the repression of social standards? Transvestites become opposite gender by cross-dressing. However, who defines the gender of clothing? And who defines Transvestites as a mental disorder?
I have had experience in performing as a Drag Queen, a well-known performing form in modern times. Usually performed by gay men, drag queens perform with exaggerated female clothing, make-up and wigs. As a drag queen, I am able to express the hidden side of myself which I am not able to when I am in male clothing. However, I identify myself as a “Cisgender Gay Man”. I don’t eager to change my sex characteristics like transgender. I don’t do cross-dressing in private like cross-dresser. As a drag queen, I do have pleasure but it’s not connected with sexual arousal like transvestites.
In fact, Transvestic Fetishism has nothing to do with gender or sexuality, it can be male, female or other genders, and it can be heterosexual, homosexual or other sexualities. According to statistics, most transvestites are male. We’re now in an open society, we are used to see a gay man dress up with female clothing. But how do we react to a straight man putting on silk underwear, lace bra, stocking, garter, corset, skirt and high heels? And how do doctors diagnose a man with mental disorder because he has sexual fantasies when he puts on female clothing. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) removed the diagnosis of “Homosexuality” from the second edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). Will Transvestic Fetishism be removed one day?
According to the medical data: A Transvestite has fears and anxieties for relationships between two genders. Without wearing clothing of opposite gender, the person has obvious obstacles for sex. But with clothing of the opposite gender, the problem is then solved. Focusing on Male Transvestites, what I am curious about is: When a man’s sexual arousal for a woman is triggered by putting himself in woman’s clothings, what does the clothing give to him? And what kind of mental status and physical feelings does he get from it? Does he mentally identify himself as a woman? Does he mentally identify himself as lesbian?
Actually we can easily find Male Transvestites in movies, for example: “Danish Girl” 2015, “Laurence Anyways” 2012, etc. But maybe they’re just around us in Taiwan. Hopefully I can interview Transvestites and psychologists in order to figure out the situation of Transvestic Fetishism.
ARTIST JOURNAL ( MEI Chih-Ling )
In the online meeting this week, Chih Wei mentioned about “Cross-Dressing”. So I searched online and found the definition of it: “Cross-Dressing” is the act of wearing clothes that are traditionally associated with a different gender, sometimes with makeup. There are different explanations of the cause and the act of it.
For me, it’s somehow related to the stereotype of gender. The stereotype categorizes underwears, stockings, corsets, muscles, the length of hair and the aesthetics of outlook. There’s even stereotype in sex, sexual arousal, sexual provocation. Are we being tied up in these stereotypes?
What is sexual? What is narrowing down sex and sexual arousal? Cross-Dressing brings the visual pleasure connected to sexual arousal but it’s not only in sex. I’m thinking again what are sex and fetish to me. By observing tiny little things in daily life, I’m trying to feel the sexual connection with my own body. Meanwhile, trying not to fall into the stereotype. Remember, more open doesn't mean less stereotype.
藝術家日誌（曾智偉）
本週的線上會議中，我們延續性／慾、肉體、美和安全感等關鍵字的探索。「性慾」（Sexual Arousal）的激發有成千上萬種，夾雜著生理需求和心理需求，使得「性癖好（戀物）」（Sexual Fetishism / Erotic Fetishism）的分類日新月異。而我們從「戀物性異裝」（Transvestic Fetishism）延伸出身體、衣物和性別的討論。
有些性癖好者藉由痛覺、污穢、羞辱或佔有激發性慾，有些則藉由「超脫二元性別」激發性慾：同時擁有兩性生理表徵的「跨性別」（Transgender）在情色產業中有Shemale（Male-to-Female）和FTM（Female-to-Male）等類別；藉由情趣用品或特殊道具改變生理性別表徵的有Pegging（A woman performs anal sex on a man）和Mpreg（Male Pregnancy）等類別；「戀物性異裝」則是通過「異性扮裝」（Cross-Dressing）來激發性慾，例如：一位生理男性，因為穿上女性內褲而勃起。而在美國精神醫學學會出版的《精神疾病診斷與統計手冊》（DSM-5）中，將之歸類為「戀物性異裝症」（Transvestic Disorder）。
這其中有許多有趣的事情可以探討：人類的性慾為何與離經叛道的事物結合在一起？跨越道德界線的快感，是否來自社會規範的壓抑？「戀物性異裝者」（Transvestite）透過異性衣物，成為另一個性別的自己。然而，是誰定義了衣物的性別？又是依據什麼將他們歸類為精神疾病患者？
我曾經有「變裝皇后」（Drag Queen）的表演經驗，這個現今廣為人知的展演型態，通常是由男同性戀者，穿戴誇張的女性衣物和妝髮進行表演。變裝皇后釋放了我隱藏的一面，是平常男性裝著的我所無法達成的。然而，我是一名「順性別男同性戀者」（Cisgender Gay Man），有別於「跨性別」，我並無改變生理性別的渴望；有別於「異性裝扮者」（Cross-Dresser），我並無於私底下穿著女性衣物的渴望；而有別於「戀物性異裝者」，在變裝皇后的過程中，我的確獲得了快感，但這份快感並不直接指向性慾的激發。
「戀物性異裝」其實無關乎性別（Gender）和性向（Sexuality)，可能是男性、女性或其他任何性別，也可能是異性戀、同性戀或其他任何性向，而資料顯示多半為男性。在當今開放的社會中，男同性戀者穿戴女性衣物和妝髮，已經被大眾接納甚至讚揚。但當一名男異性戀者，穿上絲綢內褲、蕾絲胸罩、吊帶絲襪、馬甲、裙子和高跟鞋，社會大眾會如何看待他？當他因為身著這些衣物而產生性幻想，醫學界何以將他歸類為精神病患？美國精神醫學會在1973年，將「同性戀」從診斷手冊中移除，是否有一天「戀物性異裝症」也將會被移除？
醫學資料提到：一位戀物性異裝者對兩性關係有懼怕和憂患的心理，在不穿異性服飾的情況下，性交出現明顯的障礙，而穿了異性服飾則無性交障礙。聚焦在「男性戀物性異裝者」，我好奇的是：當一位穿上女性衣物而對女性產生性幻想的男性，這些衣物到底賦予了他什麼？他從中獲得的心理狀態和體感是什麼？他的心理性別是否為「女性」？他的心理性向是否為「女同性戀」（Lesbian）？
其實我們不難從幾部電影中找到「男性戀物性異裝者」，例如：《丹麥女孩》（Danish Girl, 2015）、《雙面勞倫斯》（Laurence Anyways, 2012）...等。但我相信他們也存在在我們身邊，雖然不容易找到，但我希望能訪談當事人與心理醫生，從兩個角度觀看「戀物性異裝者」在台灣的處境。
藝術家日誌（梅芷菱）
本週的線上討論，智偉具體的提出關於cross dressing這項分類，從網路上簡單的查閱，意指任何人為任何理由、動機穿著「在傳統的表達上被視為屬於另一個性別」的服裝，有時也會搭配化妝，因人而異而常會有不同的成因理解和行為解釋，與性別認同、癖好、甚至在傳統社會中被視為是一種精神疾病。
但我聯想到或許在某種程度上與大眾先入為主的性別思考上被框架、被認定是息息相關，對於裝扮的物件有性別之分，這也許是種綑綁，不管是內衣、絲襪、馬甲、肌肉強壯、髮型長短、外在的審美等等……將歸類為特定某種性向的專屬條件，延伸至慾望、性、性挑逗，激起性慾，整理出為何要接受這些綑綁，是以個人的喜好去設想他人的感受，抑或以他人的喜好去迎合這些框架……
sexual是什麼？窄化性慾或性是什麼？不只是性交，以cross dressing帶來的感官感受，是視覺上的愉悅連接身體上的性欲，打開五感包含視聽經驗，從而思考自身對性、物件、癖好的感受，嘗試理解，但記住不是越開放就越無框架，會陷入思慮的圈套，可從生活中的細節去覺察身體(生理或念頭)對性愛的聯想，或許是無關緊要的小物件或者事件，進而分析自我對性的真實感受。
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