When I was 12, I found myself on a children's TV show in Singapore. It was merely a fun after-school activity to me, until one day it wasn't.
While my body was at the cusp of metamorphosis, it became subject to the anonymous Internet's opinions. I found my appearance critiqued on forums, digested through a heteronormative, violent gaze.
I remember bawling in front of the computer, each comment feeling like a punch to the gut. Shaky in self-esteem, I took their words to be true.
Now as an adult, I look at this time of my life with such curiosity, knowing that I had been at a unique vantage point from which to understand cyberbullying and virtual fame.
How could I use this to create safety for others? How do I re-write my own narrative? I'm currently looking at what the possibilities of 3D animation and avatar creation offer. I need this young body to continue living.
Comments