Dear readers,
Residency in the CLOUD was an online residency project on gender issues of Southeast Asia that lasted six weeks. As an observer, I wanted to record all the creative process and the conversations of the artists and connect the ideas among us in order to write and present the whole look and the special scenario of the execution and the online residency. Focusing on Taiwan, two artist groups from Taiwan proposed live collaborating performances and live streaming and they were different from the artists from Singapore and the Philippines who used video making and lecture performance as a way of presentation. It was worth observing when it came to the differences and the similarities of the online residency.
Back to gender, "Beyond the Binary" was the term the two artist groups from Taiwan constantly mentioned during the six weeks. For writing strategy, I asked myself how should I structure in order to reflect artists' perspectives and practices. Therefore, I chose to experiment on blurring the power relationship between "the observer and the observed" on writing and to draw closer to artists' mental states during the residency. I mimicked the non-linear question and response that were often seen in conversations during the meetings. I wrote about time and also space. This article is not a result-driven and a steady observational writing. I'll maximize the "questioning" process and try to intertwine all the perspectives from four Taiwanese artists (TSENG Chih-Wei, MEI Chih-Ling, CHEN Yi-Chin and CHOU Kuan-Jou) and wish to present the fluid mental states of them having anxieties toward the presentations, collaborating and negotiating and talking about the strategy of going public during the online residency. At the moment of seeing gender issues everywhere, let's take a look at the "chat record" of the artists. It was unsteady, still exploring, on and off, see you next week, what's the possibility, description and question, skipping challenge, rigid gender structure, traces, I want to say something about this, voices, we feel that, plural of I, I, I think at first, however, as a matter of fact, but, yes, nevertheless, yes, however...
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(The observer is offline.)
I (1:57 AM):
Grouping in Taiwan, from I to we, the smallest unit in the network, two artists started their conversations. After five weeks, how do we present at the sixth week? About gender, any thoughts? Apart from male and female, how can we talk about gender diversity? To start from the females who aged from 50 to 70 around us, what are the factors that shape their social appearances today? Is there a chance to look for their new female appearances through plans for field researches, accumulated workshops and online presentations? On the other hand, can circus and queer found in the operation of fabrics and consciousness, and can transvestic fetishism (English) be our vocabulary? Please highlight beyond the binary, sexual desire, psychological and physiological. And how about highlighting "definition" in definition of beauty? Highlight norms in social norms? Please come in, facilitators (English). I... we... Understood?/ Is that okay?/ What else?
Freshness (2:39 PM):
I'll talk about freshness, about this project... We can't eagerly find the answers. It became unstable to meet and we needed to do the presentations online? The pandemic broke out and we had to go fully online. Scheduled workshops, rehearsals... organized creative structures were challenged? Moreover, the network was expanding from two people to many participants. We were joined by the interviewees and the artists needed to share collectively and wrote artist journals which were open to the public. Moreover, before the facilitator meeting this week, was everything well thought? It needs time and so does listening, conversation and experiment. Is there any possibilities to do physical creations under the limits? The facilitators asked: "Why do we think of sex when we talk of 'person-to-person connection'?" The screen went black. The power went out. Manila, the Philippines shared the same experience.
Topic (10:25 PM):
"Gender is a topic for everyone." the facilitators then said. "More liberal doesn't mean we're more progressive." Building and rehearsing virtual character that bestowed consciousness upon gender diversity, can it become another restriction for them to play themselves? If they didn't choose marriage, they might have more time to examine themselves. Now you suddenly ask me to experiment with pervert, what do I want then? I used to know clearly about the creative forms but this time it was hard to distinguish between arts therapy, artistic practice and conducting a workshop. Reaching out to communities for interviews and cooperation seemed to be the only way. How do artists position themselves? Where's the destination? Focusing on the fixed meanings resulted from the interactions between materials, fabrics and people, how can the experience of sexual desire diversity be carried out and highlighted when we try to misuse it purposely to free its symbolic meanings? Being obsessed with certain clothes, or you can say fetishism can arouse or explore desire and solve some biological obstacles. When we don't see fabrics as they are, how do we perceive the gender perspectives structured by materialization. Can I use Mandarin to speak instead?
English (0:18 AM):
They and I had built our mentorship so it was hard to break our connection. Breaking the ingratiation and needs between artists and communities, sounds difficult? They often feel worthless when they can't say no to the norms of the older generation. New ideas from the next generation are appearing at the same time while they're stuck in families. Can their subjects be once again translated or transcended by another language system? We are all accomplices when talking about gender dilemma of the older generation. Can we trigger their imagination and the eager of expression by adding choreographed movements which pull away from destined life experiences? Therefore, if we put the residency on screen, we need to negotiate with video discourse in order to present. Rather than simplifying the representation, why don't we overcome representation to overturn the speaking position? Artists are on and off the scene at the same time and so are communities. At that moment, I understood the international situation of Taiwan (Mandarin channel) accompanying by their (pervert) situations and secured voices (for a living) through dressing up and showing.
Orgasm (0:45 AM):
On-camera performance, whom should I provide the service to? Highlight definition, norm and tie up. Two bodies become vessels of trespassing limitations and bear the sex-related vocabulary. Is there any chances to experiment with orgasm on camera? It's obvious to see the mashups and the styles of fabrics, clothes and accessories but we still face the dilemma: How do we escape from binary with duo performance? How do we share and discuss non-binary (gender)? Cloth is cloth. The gender space that cloth structures needs body to build it up and it has already shown the possibility of non-binary. How to bring out non-cloth and further problematize the thinking process from cloth, fabric, clothes and norm to lust and sexual desire that brought out by sex-related questions which restrict the body? We sometimes need a hand to arouse orgasm. Genders not only live within bodies but also expand the power outside them.
Inception (3:30 PM):
Facing gender, Taiwan has great potential of conducting creations and researches. Online network lifts the limitations of visibility. Residency with no fear, artists and facilitators are working together to facilitate gender to be uploaded on the cloud and off-screen.
The audience received and questioned: "How could we shift from a hetronormativity rhetoric to a queer one?", "What did the monstrous figures do? How did they move? What did they find out? Do they still want to get/stay married?".
(Artist TSENG Chih-Wei, MEI Chih-Ling, CHEN Yi-Chin and CHOU Kuan-Jou, facilitator HUANG Ding-Yun and Henry TAN is now online.)
We sincerely welcome everyone of you, it's very...
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親愛的讀者您好：
東南亞性別網絡雲端駐村是一個為期六週的雲端網絡東南亞性別駐村計畫，作為觀察員，起初我希望將藝術家創作過程的對話與事件紀實保存下來，串流彼此之間的思考路徑進行書寫，以呈現計畫的整體執行樣貌與雲端駐村的特殊情境。選擇聚焦臺灣，源自於兩組臺灣藝術家提案皆以現場合作演出、線上直播為規劃，有別於新加坡及菲律賓組以影片製作或Lecture Performance為方向的呈現思維，對雲端駐村的想像異同，實則頗有值得觀察之處。
回到性別，「跳脫二元」是這六週以來兩組臺灣藝術家皆反覆提及的詞彙，書寫策略上，我反問自己，該要如何架構才能反映藝術家正在追求的思考方向？於是，我選擇試驗模糊「觀察者—被觀察者」既定的書寫權力關係，轉以貼近藝術家駐村過程的「心理狀態」，復刻視訊會議裡經常跳躍式提問與回應的對話情境，書寫時間，也書寫著空間。這篇文章並非以結果導向、穩固的觀察書寫，我將「提問」極致化，試著交織四位臺灣藝術家（曾智偉、梅芷菱、陳詣芩、周寬柔）面對性別議題創作的所思所想，同時展現創作呈現的焦慮、彼此合作的協商、迎向社群公眾的策略等雲端駐村過程的心理流動狀態。在這處處都存在性別議題的時刻，且看藝術家們的「對話紀錄」，處處存在尚未穩定、尚在探索、不斷反覆、那下週見、可能性是什麼、的描述與提問，嘗試跳針挑戰，僵化的性別結構，的痕跡，關於這一次我想說，的聲音，我們覺得，有複數的我，我，起初我想，可是，那不過，但，對，不過，是，可是，……###########
（觀察員已離線。）
我（上午1:57）：
在臺灣，分組，從我到我們，網絡最小單位，兩位藝術家挑起對話。五週以後，我們在第六週如何呈現？關於性別，有什麼看法？女性與男性之外，更多元的性別我們可以怎麼談？從身邊出發，目前臺灣五十至七十歲左右的女性，框架她們成形今日樣貌的因素？架構田野調查、累積式工作坊與線上呈現，有機會找尋她們的女性新形象？另一方面，馬戲與酷兒激盪關於布料與意識之間的運作，戀物性異裝（英文）會是我們的詞彙？跳脫二元，性慾、心理、生理圈起來，再把美的定義的定義兩個字圈起來？社會規範的規範圈起來？協作者（英文）請進，我……我們……，聽得懂嗎／這樣可以嗎／還有什麼？
新鮮（下午2:39）：
我會說新鮮，關於這個計畫……。我們不能急於找答案，碰面卻變得不穩定，呈現必須轉線上？臺灣疫情爆發，我們得要真正地全面上線，原定在場發生的工作坊、排練……組織好的創作框架深受考驗？不只，網絡已從兩人擴編，訪談對象加入、藝術家需要集體分享，還有面對公眾的藝術家週誌，更近的是，這一週協作會議以前，思考足夠透徹了嗎？那需要時間，傾聽、對話、試驗也是，還有機會最低限度實體創作？協作者問：為什麼說「人與人的連結」就會讓人想到性？鏡頭暗掉，大停電，菲律賓馬尼拉也有相同經驗。
課題（下午10:25）：
「每個人都有性別議題，」協作者接著說「不是越開放就是越進步。」賦予多元性別意識的虛擬角色建構與操演，對她們而言構成另一層非得要做自己不可的框架？沒有進入婚姻，也許有更多時間閱讀自己；現在突然要我跳脫來實驗變態，那我想要什麼？以往很清楚創作形式，這次難區分藝術治療、藝術實踐，或做一個工作坊？向外與社群訪談、合作似為必經之路，藝術家的座標該定位何處？要導航何方？聚焦物質，布料與人互動後產生意義進而固著，當試圖刻意誤用它來解放象徵意涵時，多元情慾的經驗如何盡可能地被承載與顯影？迷戀特定服飾，或說癖好，足以湧現或開發慾望解決部分生理障礙，布料不只是布料的情況下，我們對於物質所建構的性別場域觀點何在？我可以用中文說嗎？
英文（上午0:18）：
她們與我從師生關係建立起，脈絡難斷，藝術家與社群之間破解迎合或需求，好難？她們常常會覺得自己沒有價值，上一輩的規矩難以拒絕，下一代的觀念推陳出新，走入家庭卡在之間，主體性又遭另一套語言體系翻譯或超譯？上一代的性別處境，我們也是共謀，注入經設計的舞蹈動作來抽離既定的生活經驗，能驅動她們想像力並自在表述？然而，駐村在鏡頭裡，呈現勢必要與影像語言協商，與其簡化代言，不如駕馭代言來顛覆發言位置？藝術家既不在場又在場，同時社群也既在場又不在場，片刻，我感應到臺灣（中文聲道）的國際處境，伴隨著她們扮裝表現的（變）態勢及（為了生存）竭力穩定的聲音。
高潮（上午0:45）：
鏡頭表演，我要（服務）誰好看？定義、規範、綑綁圈起來，兩具身體作為踰越限制的容器，負載與性相關的字彙，有機會帶著鏡頭實驗高潮？成堆布料、衣飾上身混搭，造型過程易見，卻始終要面對難題：雙人表演如何離開二元？共享並論說非二元（性別）？布就是布，布所形構的性別空間得藉由肉身相對地塑形而成，它已為我們展現非二元的可能，何以釋放布的非性，進而問題化思考從布、布料、衣服、規範，到慾望、性慾一連串過程生產而框限住身體的「性」提問？高潮如何激發，有時得借助外力，性別不只住在身體裡，身體外更是權力場域。
啟動（下午3:30）：
站在性別面前，臺灣深具創作研究潛能，而網絡的意義則更進一步解壓縮視域的侷限性。無懼駐村，藝術家與協作者們通力促成性別上載雲端、躍出視窗，
觀眾接收並提問「How could we shift from a hetronormativity rhetoric to a queer one?」、「What did the monstrous figures do? How did they move? What did they find out? Do they still want to get/stay married?」，
（藝術家曾智偉、梅芷菱、陳詣芩、周寬柔，協作者黃鼎云、陳業亮（Henry Tan）已上線。）
誠摯歡迎大家，非常……
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